I can’t even write in this book what I have been through...

In late August 1917 the U.S. Army announced that it would take over all the volunteer ambulance corps then operating in France, including the American Field Service and Norton-Harjes. The leaders of the purely volunteer ambulance services did not agree with this militarization and resigned en masse. For the individual drivers--like Grant Willard--the coming days were full of soul-searching and difficult choices: to join the U.S. Army and continue driving ambulances in France, or to quit, return to America and possibly be drafted to fight.

Sunday, August 26, 1917:

I was just going to bed when the Chief came in and wanted to know if we would take him down to Verdun where he was to meet Mr. Kemp. It was raining fiercely, but dear little Fifi behaved wonderfully. It was too dark to see any of the city. I could only see that it was very heavily fortified and Mr. Bullard said that it was considered the most heavily fortified city in the world, but not very practical for modern warfare.

We went into a barracks which consisted of a long 700 ft. concrete underground hall way with like tubes branching off at intervals on either side. It gave one a feeling of safety just to enter the place. Many thousands of troops are quartered here. No wonder Germany had Verdun for one of its chief objectives.

After about ¾ of an hour wait the Chief returned with the following information in brief: The American Government is making arrangements for taking over all American Red Cross in France. They sent over a commission to look over the work and make the arrangements. They wanted to militarize the whole system making Mr. Norton a Major, Mr. Kemp a Captain and the head of the American Ambulance Corps a Captain. The result was that our whole Paris office including Mr. Norton & Kemp & Havemeyer resigned, refusing to put their work on a military basis. They agreed to stay until the American Government was ready to take over to work, but they are through from then on. They advised us to sit quiet and await developments, but not to rush headlong in any direction until we were sure which way we were going. There are many other details in the preliminary arrangements which makes it almost certain that Section 61 will continue its work under present management for the duration of their 6 months, but at the end of that time the section to a man will return to America and run a chance of being drafted.

Personally I will not hesitate a moment about returning even though I felt that I could better myself by staying over here because I owe it to Dorothy and my family, who have seemed to be consistently opposed to my coming over here from the start, to do so. If I am drafted and have to return to France shortly to be put into the trenches in much more dangerous work I feel that I will not be to blame. I have done what I conscientiously feel is the best for all concerned and still feel the same way. Oh, if they only understood as much as I do, having seen and experienced what I have over here, -- but they probably never will. I can’t even write in this book what I have been through and what this has meant to me to say nothing of telling all when I return. Maybe when thousands return with similar and even worse stories of modern warfare than I could or would tell -- then maybe they will open their eyes. America can’t understand as these people do until they have suffered some themselves and the probably never will understand it to the degree that France does. The fact remains that no Ambulance section in this present war has been through the severity we have. The Verdun sector is a sector that many sections have absolutely refused to make. In addition to the ever-present risk and danger the French have launched to big attacks, probably the biggest ever launched, right in our sector and the adjoining one.

That God has been with us constantly is a fact which every man in the section realizes fully and does not hesitate to admit openly. We have escaped so far with no loss of life. Three men wounded has been the entire toll so far. Every man in the section has had at least one close shave and probably many more of which he was not conscious. The attacks are now completed, all objectives forced, many prisoners taken. We have been here almost three weeks and are now about due for a rest which we expect in a week or two. The men have worked hard and gloriously. We are all thin and our nerves are more or less shattered from little sleep and constant watchfulness. Many a night’s sleep has been spoiled by visiting Boche aviators or shell fire. The section has received one citation for its good work and two of its members will receive his in a couple of days for noble and fearless work.