May 9, 1917: Grant writes home to his mother

In April 1917, Grant R. Willard, of Mankato, Minnesota, left home to volunteer in France with the Norton-Harjes Ambulance Corps on the Western Front. Though he thought he'd only be gone for six months, it would be two years before he came back to America a changed man.

Before shipping out, he spent time wooing a woman from Pennsylvania named Dorothy Houghton. While staying with cousins in Brooklyn, Grant related his feelings about the young woman.

360 E. 19th St.

Brooklyn, N.Y.

May 9, 1917

Mother dear:-

The reaction has come. The strain of the past few weeks has weakened me so that my second inoculation got the best of me. Cousin Elsie doesn’t know it but I was very sick last night with a fever which I thought would burn me up. It is now about 1 P.M. and I have been up but a few minutes. My fever is gone, my arm much better and my throat not half so sore. Tomorrow I hope to be back to par as far as physical health is concerned.

Now for a few heart throbs – my four days in Ambler have made a new man of me. The whole trip out was misery. I thought the suspense would kill me before I saw Dot at the depot. Even after I had been here for two days the suspense still stayed by me. I was so afraid that something would go wrong somewhere and that she would find she had made a mistake in her man. So for two whole days I was bound to be as natural as possible – to be toward her as I would be toward any other girl. They were two hard days. Sunday, though a gloomy day in temperature and brightness was a day which will never be forgotten by me. She is more wonderful than I had dared believe, Mother, and everything has turned out so beautifully. I wish now more than ever that I could have arranged some way to come just this far and no farther but I was deathly afraid to hesitate even a minute lest I be sent, thru conscription, in the opposite direction in which case I’m sure I should have literally pined away. It’s going to be awfully hard to leave the country but the future now looks bigger and brighter than ever before. I think it’s going to be good for all concerned.

Another thing which I am afraid you don’t understand: it wasn’t easy for me to leave home, Mother. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. But don’t you see I couldn’t for a minute let myself down to it? I played human psychology pretty hard, I’ll tell you, and you all were perfectly wonderful for not taking my pins out from under me as you could very easily have done. I saw no further than Ambler. Now I am beginning to look a bit further than Ambler and it hurts like blazes -- not fear but just the thought of being so far from ease and comfort into a new land of misery and suffering. Nobody can deliberately pick up and pull away from a home which has meant as much to him as my home has and go to a new land of venture and hard work without some feeling. Though maybe it doesn’t show it is there and there to stay. As for personal danger, I think this is barely worth considering. Of course, I won’t admit there is any more danger than we are every day subjected to here in this country. No transports between here and the foreign countries have been in anyway molested and there is hardly a possibility that they will be. The danger over there is nothing when compared to the service rendered. So you see, Mother, that by the method of comparisons my move can be strongly fortified and I still feel with all my heart that my course has been the right one for me.

I have come here from Ambler to make sure about my boat. I didn’t understand Dad’s telegram. I find there is no boat until a week from Saturday as I had interpreted the telegram. So I shall be here until Friday noon when I shall again return to Ambler to be with Dorothy until the following Friday if Mrs. Houghton doesn’t kick me out.

Cousin Elsie and Lillian have been very, very nice to me. Cousin Elsie wishes me to say that your letter, grandma’s letter and Alice’s letter have all been received and appreciated. They both send love to all.

Tomorrow I meet Mr. Norton for final arrangements for leaving this country May 19th. I think I will have my trunk sent right out here for packing.

I will write you again from Ambler next week. Dad’s letter enclosing Mr. Hatcher’s has been received. I hope to be able to use it.

These things remember then: Your eldest son is doing what he considers his duty with a much easier heart than he has had for many months and that he is already looking forward to his return when this horrible thing is over with.

Much love-

Grant